To be perfectly honest, I hate trying to give things numerical scores, almost as much as I hate the traditional "four-star" movie reviewing system. It forces the reviewer to try to turn a complex opinion into an easily-marketable bite. Still, if you want to easily know the good from the bad, it's a hard system to get away from.
Because of this, I've decided to forego the typical movie format in favor of an out-of-ten point system. While this is simplistic, I want the numbers to have meaning—to keep myself from being arbitrary if nothing else. With that said, here's the full meaning of what each of the 10-point scores really mean.
Score
10: Flawless Victory
Tens aren’t perfect (since nothing really
is), but these come as close as you can get in a given genre. This is—at least recently—the picture to beat in this
genre/style. A picture that left me with
all of the feels.
9: Superb
Nines are a hallmark of excellence. There may be noticeable flaws, but they are
negligible, and won’t cause much damage to what is an otherwise supremely good
story.
8: Great
Eights are impressive efforts with a few
noteworthy problems holding them back.
These movies won’t astound the most highly critical of viewers, but are
well worth your time and effort to engage.
Enjoyable all around.
7: Good
Sevens are solid movies that definitely have
an audience who will love them. There
might be little appeal for future viewing, or they might have some significant
problems with story or acting, but the experience is still fun.
6: Alright
Sixes are either movies that barely pass
average, or are at best inoffensive to watch.
Fans of the genre may enjoy them, but the average viewer will likely be
left underwhelmed.
5: Mediocre
Fives are an exercise in apathy: neither hot
nor cold, neither solid nor liquid.
Really just sort of “meh” overall.
Left me with absolutely no strong feelings one way or another.
4: Below Average
Fours have high points that are soon buried
by issues, or could be decent plots overwhelmed by technical errors or just
plain bad acting. Maybe not the worst
movies out there, but difficult to recommend at any rate.
3: Poor
Threes just flat-out went wrong somewhere
along the line. The original premise may
have had promise, but in practice the director and production team have
failed. You have a worryingly deficient
knowledge of filmmaking and storycraft.
2: Bad
Twos are disasters. Any good points are quickly swallowed up by
bad writing, flat acting, unlikable characters, and every other type of error I
can think of. These movies have no hope
of seeing the light of day without the direct intervention of a riffer.
1: Complete Failure
Ones are the lowest of the low. These movies are insulting to the viewer and
should be embarrassing to everyone involved in their production. These “movies” will die lonely and forgotten,
their names remembered only as textbook examples of how not to make a
film. Literally without redeeming value
of any sort.
